things are happening again n again.
me n him are goin thru a rough patch rite nw. i dunno wat 2 sae. we are both having difficulties to hold on 2 each other. i reli tink we are not meant 2 be. but 4 how long, onli god noes. my 1st instinct told me dat hes gonna break up wif me. but apparently dats not the case.
wen i msged a veri long msg, he tot i wanna break up. but no. i was actualli merely expressing my feelings. i was down, upset. so i said such things. but it doesnt mean break up.
wat pissed me off is, even till now, hes too ignorant 2 reply. dear god, pls tell me how am i suppose 2 NOT get angry wen he does tis every now n den.
2 make things worse., home is not a place 2 relax n soothe the mind either. my aunt n uncle are alwaes making false accusations n hurtful remarks.
dear god, all of these things are making me reli stress. i tried hard not 2 cry juz now. coz i was fasting. but these tears keep cuming back 4 more. onli u noe hw i reli feel inside.
i dunno wat else 2 sae rite nw. wat hurts the most is dat my 21st bdae is cuming in 4 daes time. me n him, we're suppose 2 breakfast together in teckwhye. but looking at the situation. i dunno if he wans 2 cum. it hurts me a lot. but i keep telling myself 2 be strong n smile. dats the onli thing i can do rite nw.
the onli thing dat i cudnt tell him rite nw is dat,
i miss him
i miss being happy wif him
i miss the gd mornings n gdnites we both shared.
n most importantly,
i love him.i wish he knew. but its okay. at least my heart knew. n u knew.
u noe, as im typing tis, i can feel my tears warming up in my eyes. i wish i cud hug smone n cry.
♥dEE♥